How to cope with shopping trips

This brief article will give you tips on how to help your
child cope with shopping trips. The child with
Asperger’s Syndrome needs to know what is expected
of them at all times, as well as what to expect from
the world around them. This need for consistency and
having planned events as much as humanly possible
is one of the keys to helping your child. Shopping trips
that are lengthy, when they have no prior
knowledge of the expectations, are bound to fail. It is
not only appropriate but important for them to access
the community, participating in normal activities as the
rest of us do. Because all children deserve and need to
be able to cope with social situations of different kinds.
But if they are not given accurate information, or the trip
is simply too long, it is bound to fail.

In order to integrate the child with Asperger’s Syndrome
into the community, it is best to start with very small,
quick trips. Take the child with you to pick up one item.
Prior to entering the store, tell them why you are there and
what you are there to get. This will help your child to
get a quick understanding of the situation. Give them
some “brief” cues on what will be expected of them.
Because remember that the social cues and social graces
we naturally take for granted have to be learned by
your child – they don’t come naturally. If they start
misbehaving in the store, remind them the trip is
almost over. After you have retrieved what you are
there to buy, leave the store and reward them with
verbal praise for their behavior, if it was acceptable.
It is important to reward behavior, even if it isn’t perfect.
But to be most effective this needs to be straight after the
event. Delayed praise has less impact in helping to change
behavior for the better. It is also useful if the praise is
specific rather than general. For example “you did really
well when we had to queue behind those people today”
is better than “well done at the store today”. Your child
is desperate to succeed, especially when it comes to fitting in.

Only after several successful, short trips, should you try
to increase the time spent in the store. But again this
must be planned and explained beforehand for your child.
If there is inappropriate behavior, beyond what any child
would do, simply leave the store and try again another day.
You can prime the child for good behavior by making sure
that they are not already over-stimulated when you go to
the store. Some physical activity prior to a shopping trip
can make for a more successful venture. Also be aware
of issues like particular food or drink stimulants that may
have an impact on your child too. It is also important to
remember that some days are just simply not too good
for doing these trips, for example if there have been
problems that day at school. So if it’s “just one of those
days” then leave the trip for another day.

In summary then – it is important to have a slow build
up to shopping trips with everything carefully explained
to the child. This can then be gradually expanded – but
be aware that at times the trips will need to be abandoned
or stopped, which is a better option than “forcing” the child in the
wrong situation.

Copyright © 2007 Dave Angel